It’s been interesting how many bracelets have come into my life over the last year, given to me for various reasons. One was mailed to me on my birthday, a black cord with small little charms that meant badass. I loved that bracelet and wore it constantly for about a month until I left it at an Airbnb I was traveling to. Unfortunately, I never got it back. But what’s interesting is that I received other bracelets only a few months later.
Another bracelet was given to me when asking my word of the year. I was interviewing someone for my job so I could move into another role at my company, and at the end of the interview she asked what my word was. GROW, I said quickly. GROW is my word of the year. A bracelet appeared on my desk a few days later. It was from the girl I was interviewing. She bought these bracelet making kits from an organization called my intent.org. She believes in being more intentional in our lives. I would have to agree with her. It was interesting how the word chose me and I didn’t choose the word. This word grow has meant a lot of things to be this year. I’m growing through menopause, I’m growing physically and spiritually and mentally. I’m growing into new jobs. I moved from Director to Vice President, and was told to think about my next move into Chief Marking Officer. In my spiritual journey I’m learning about being intentional, learning about meditation and manifestation. Growing up in a religious household, these things were taboo. I had to leave the religion I knew my entire life because it did not serve me and instead brought me grief. I started seeking out a different type of spirituality. Now I find myself attracted to healing and goodness and quiet meditation. No more agendas and pushing salvation onto those around me, feeling caged to that religion.
The spirituality I seek is free. If it doesn’t taste like freedom, it’s not your path…I’m learning this. As I grow into new thinking around my career path, and uncertain of the direction I should go next, I have to take long breaks and pauses to really think consider what those next steps are. I recently took a long weekend away so that I could recharge my batteries and think about some difficult decisions that needed to be made at work and for my life. The weekend was at a Hot Springs resort complete with restaurant and bar. It was a fun place to be, very relaxing. But what really sticks out in my memory is the warrior plunge. Every day at noon, a host gathers together people who are willing to take the plunge into the 35° water and attempt to stay there for a full minute, or longer if you’d like. Earlier that day I decided to try this on my own to see what all the fuss was about. The first time I stepped into the 35° water I went up to my waist and popped right back out, skinning my knee on the rocks as I propelled myself upward. The second time I was a little more brave and counted to 10. Still a wuss. When the host showed up for the warrior challenge, she was more intentional on how to do it.
First, she had us meet in a 107° hot spring. She then talked about the benefits of cold plunge and soaking in the hot springs. She taught us about the mother spring and how she was over 1000 feet deep and a burning 144°. In fact, every time they drop a plum line, the plum line runs out, because it is so so deep. I had to learn more about this mother spring. At 4 o’clock there would be another gathering at the mother spring to give gratitude. Gratitude is something else I’m learning more of this year. Being grateful for my life, for my job, and for my family. We have so many things to be grateful for, but yet it’s easier to find something to complain about. Complaining about not having enough money, imperfections in our body, relationships that really no longer serve us. My husband taught me to be grateful for the imperfections and stretch marks on my body, saying they are a map of my life, of all of the journeys I have taken. I no longer cover and hide my body. I’m 49 years old and I wear a bikini, body map and all.
So back to the warrior plunge. After spending several minutes in the hot spring, a group of eight of us emerged from and started traveling towards the cold plunge. This time I would do it. Stepping back into the 35 degree water was painful. First, my skin feels like a million tiny needles are trying to penetrate. Second, my feet start to burn until they go completely numb. We were told that after 20 seconds is when the real benefits arrive and you will start to feel better. 20seconds feels like an eternity 35° water. But through deep breathing and concentration, we were able to stay for a full minute. Well, most of us. I earned my warrior bracelet. It was nothing fancy, just a string of wooden beads, brown in color, and one bead that was bright blue. The bright blue standing out as warrior. I wear this bracelet often, even though much of the finish is worn off. I wear it on the arm next to my GROW bracelet, and my tattoo from an IronMan race. I am now a badass, a warrior, and an IronMan. Man. These symbols for being a bad ass, a warrior, and IronMan, have taught me how much I’ve grown.
My life over the past nine years has transformed into something I never believed it would be. Up until I was 40 years old, I didn’t believe I had a voice. I was in a marriage that did not allow me to thrive and feel my full gifts. I lived in a place that brought me seasonal depression every year. I took simple jobs that made little money so I could have more freedom to do the things I loved, not realizing the power, the strength and the voice that was within me. Every day I have to remind myself that I’m stronger than I think I am. I’m smarter than I think I am. I am wiser than I think I am. I will always be growing.
If I asked you today, what are you doing to become your badass or warrior self? Do you need a bracelet to remind you of your strength. Do you need a tattoo on your arm or your wrist to remind you of your beauty and that you are enough? Step into your fullness, and GROW.
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